Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Desire...

Today has been a long day or so it seems....I feel like it should be Thursday any day later then Tuesday but its not. I worked tonight which was good (getting money is always good) which means more money I could put away for a plane ticket to see my sister mere and for Romania trip this summer (which hopefully I will be able to go on with my daddy). After a long day, or any day I love and try to read right before I go to bed because Ive discovered I sleep better and go to sleep faster if I end my day reading the Bible!

Well like Ive said before I am reading or trying to read the Bible in a year and there are a few days Ive missed but Im trying to catch up. Well todays reading is about (OT) the regulations for the deceased, mildew in homes, and diseases, (NT) The Lord feeding the 5,000 and then him walking on water (which is prolly one of my all time favorite Bible stories). The Psalms for the day is what i want my life here at college to be like... (Psalm 40:1-10) What really hit me was stating at verse 9: "I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly, I do not seal my lips, as you know O Lord. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salcation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly."

Now this may not be the correct context for the verse but when I read it, it made me think of what I want to do on my campus...I dont want to conceal my lips I want to share Gods word...I want people to hear of Gods love and truthI want to be used...I want the Lord to use me. That reminds me of multiple stories in the Bible where people heard God calling them and they simply said, "Here I am", "Your servant is listening", "Send me." I want to say those words but I want to mean them when I say them. I dont want to say those words and then the Lord tells me where to go or, what to say, and then be like thats to hard, I cant do that, I dont want to go there... I simply want to say YES, OK, I WIll GO, I WILL SAY. I want to be light on my campus, I WANT TO BE USED!

Friday, February 19, 2010

My Education

The worst thing about school is that you have to take all these tests, I mean are tests really that important? (I know, I know.. the answer is Yes)
I am taking four classes, well technically five but that the fifth class hasnt started yet... but apparently all my teachers seem to be on the schedule of test giving. I had my History since 1877 test today which was better then I thought but the grade, I hope its as good as I studied. Monday I have my 4hr class where we learn about the science of hearing and speaking... that test will be a tad difficult and long, because me and science we dont get along. Tuesday I have test in Educational Psychology and then on Thursday I have a test in Exceptional Children.
If you ask me thats a lot of tests. But what can I do? nothing, just study.

Yes, if it seems I was somewhat complaining you are correct....but I just needed to get it off my chest, because after Thursday my brain will be like pudding.

But everything will be ok, yes, I will prolly get stressed but thats okay because as long as I do my part by studying and doing my best, the Lord will do the rest...he wasnt let me fail!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Late night...or early moring?

So its 2am and yes I am still awake.
I don't know why but I just cant sleep..so instead I read. I'm reading the Bible in a year or I should say trying to read it in a year. My church here at school has a group doing it so me and my friend signed up. I tried last year and got about half way and then I don't know what happened but I do know I stopped reading (as in to read the Bible in a year not quit reading the Bible period). I was reading Feb. 5 and in the OT excerpt of Exodus 21:22-23:13 and something popped out at me... In the selection God is telling the Israelites the rules, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth...etc. (v.23-25). In chapter 22:27 God says that he will hear when the man cries out for his cloak, because "I am compassionate". Simple: God is compassionate. After reading this it hit me, that sometimes we forget that God is compassionate, he is loving, he cares about us and only wants the best. Even though we may not see or realize it, he has our best interest..we are his children...I am his daughter, he is my father. I know that my daddy (here on earth) would do anything for me.. whether its just to answer a simple question about a bible verse that I dont understand, or a question about a story in the Bible that I cant seem to figure out (which I do often, ask him...Im pretty sure I have called him in the early morning hours). But also with the bigger things, i know that if my daddy says no or yes to something that he has my best interest at heart and whether or not I see that at that moment in time I will in the future. Thats the exact same thing, Jesus our Heavenly Father has our best in mind and would never want to do anything to hurt me, hes compassionate, caring, loving, gentle, strong, firm when need be, hes my Father.

Another thing that I began to think about while sitting in my bed. I dont have a roommate this semester and so it can get pretty quiet and boring and maybe even sometimes lonely which that last one doesnt really bother me but yeah. Well as my parents know since a child one of the biggest things i dealt with was fear and it usually happened at night when all was silent and still. Well that hasnt happened in a while but tonight I began to feel a little fear. Of what? I couldnt tell you but fear is fear it doesnt really matter for what. Well this is just what the Lord, my Father does, right when that feeling starts to come into my spirit the song Perfect Love by Christ for the Nations (if you havent heard of them or heard that song you need to change that.) The song comes from the verse in 1 John 4:18 where it states, "perfect love casts out fear" (which this is the verse I used to repeat to myself when I was younger thanks to one of my pastors) and right when fear tried to start creepin in that song came on and immediately I was calmed because thats what HE does, we are his children, he doesnt want us to hurt or be afraid just like my daddy here doesnt want me to hurt or be afraid, they protect me. I guess when God made man in his image he knew that we being human we needed someone we could actually see as well to place our trust in and thats where dads and parents and family come in, and I have to say I have the best daddy, momma, sisters and family that there is but I am a little biased! :)

I know this entry doesnt make sense in some parts but it made sense in my head and well my brain can be a little all over the place so I am sorry if this is just randomness and jumping from here to there but thats just who I am, its how i roll!


**Robert <3 James**


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Lessons Learned

A little bit about myself:
I'm a sophomore at Barton College..which is a small school in Wilson, NC. I'm a very outgoing person but I also have my moments where I am quiet but that is very rare. I also cannot spell and I am horrible at grammar (but yes I am in college :]). I am blessed with a great family where I grew up learning about living for Christ and putting all my trust and faith in HIM! When I was five years old I accepted the Lord as my Savior and asked him to come live in me.

Now I am in college and let me tell you I have learned a lot and have grown much in my walk with the Lord. Since I don't have a roommate this semester (spring '10) I have learned that Jesus is my roommate. He is there for me to talk to anytime I need him, he is the friend I would have if I had a roommate, he is the person I go to to ask questions or need help on anything... He is my roommate.

From not having a roommate I have learned that the Lord is really there for me whenever I need him and from learning this it has helped me grow. Now as I walk to class I pray in my head and bring my praises, concerns, and questions to God. As well as throughout the day I remind myself to thank God for the little things and if something happens that the Lord did for me I remind myself to thank him. For instance, the other morning I was in the shower and there was no hot word except for every now and then when there would be a little bit. Instead of complaining (which I did catch myself on) I thanked God for allowing me to have those few moments of warm water and the next thing I knew I had hot water and again thanked him for that.

Another lesson I have learned is not to worry or be anxious. I have discovered recently that I can become anxious and worry over the littlest things and from that I have memorized Philippians 4:6 where the Lord says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, and thanksgiving bring your requests to God." and now every time I begin to feel anxious this verse comes to mind. Like tonight, i had class from 3 to 5 and then work 5 to 9, so I have had no break. Well after work on my way back to my room I realized I left my phone at work which I use all the time (its my alarm clock in the morning, its my clock, its how i keep in touch with family and friends) so I freaked out and because I became anxious and worried and stressed I never stopped and listened to God until I paused, took a breath and relaxed. That's when the Lord began to speak to me about how I sometimes put more trust into my phone and focus more on that then God. Once I allowed the Lord in to teach me a lesson he blessed me by giving me an RA who was so kind to allow me to use her alarm clock and then putting my cousin on facebook so I could have someone to talk to and who gave me great advice in that through this the Lord wanted to tell me something which he did.

Being in college where not everyone shares your beliefs and where the devil tries to find any way to come between the relationship I have with Christ is not easy but Ive learned and continuing to see that with God ALL things are possible and that I'm not traveling this road alone!

"May the good Lord take a liken to ya!" -Paw Paw